There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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