Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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