I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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