Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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