It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
