I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
