my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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