Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
