Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
