Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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