dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
