AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
A+ Viking dick
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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