You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
