Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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