hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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