the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
