and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
