You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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