What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have fence marks all over my body
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
