i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
