Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
