you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
