Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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