if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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