508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
