PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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