its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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