Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
