we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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