So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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