I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
