My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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