im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
did you just send me my own nude
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
