you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
