I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
