saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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