Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
