Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
