big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
