Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
