On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
