Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
