the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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