He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
