I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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