you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
