i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
