oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
