Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
