so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
